Tonight was the end of Pinon Palloozza and my last event as Mesa State’s RHA President. I am feeling quite nostalgic, sad and yes happy about this moment. For those of you reading this who don’t know next year I will not be returning to Mesa State. I am transferring to a school back near my home in Denver. The last two years have been some of the best two years of my life. I have had awesome moments and seen tremendous growth in me as a person.
To be honest this year has been really rough. Last year had some rough moments too like when my amazing Grandpa passed away or when I sat alone outside of Tolman on my first day at Mesa just praying, “God if you are real please just let someone come talk to me, please let me make a friend.” I was so nervous that I would not fit in here; I was so scared to be at a school where I knew absolutely no one. Yet that was why I choose Mesa in the first place. I wanted to be outside of my comfort zone. I had this theory that the further outside of your comfort zone you go the more you will grow and the more you will learn. I proved that theory true. But it’s time to go home now. Time to get back to my roots. Maybe, I am just tired and by the end of summer I will want to return to Mesa but as it stand now I am ready to leave. Let me clarify I am ready but sad. I have less than two weeks left and I keep thinking about all the things I’ve wanted to do up here and don’t have time to do. In fact, I haven’t even told most people that I don’t plan on coming back because it’s too fucking hard for me to say goodbye. I love these people they are my brothers and sisters and not seeing them on a daily basis will be an adjustment for sure. These people and the memories I have shared with them are the reason these past two years have been the best out of all twenty years thus far. I want everyone to know I love them and I know for sure one person who will read this is one person at Mesa who has had a huge influence on my life so, Thank You!
I want everyone to know that at the end of the day I can honestly say I gave my 100% this year to my classes and to my position on RHA. I learned this year that I am a person who gets easily overwhelmed, cautious and stressed. To be honest I had never experienced stress like this before. This is the kind of stress that leaves you crying in the bathroom on the phone to your mom for 30 minutes because you just failed your 3rd Biology test. But I also experienced joy. The joys of seeing 30 people show up to an event you planned about Africa.Or watching a complete stranger pray with me because I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said, “I don’t want her to die not right now.” I will miss every other Wednesday morning that I was privileged enough to make new friends over breakfast with my friend Emily at homeward bound. I will miss TNL and all that comes with it. Too much there to write about.
I will miss RHA a lot but I am so glad that Pinon Palloozza just ended. I feel relieved that it all went relatively well. We rocked! I love my RHA e board including my advisor who has constantly supported me this year. I am sad that I will not be returning to support next year’s RHA e board but I hope that I have been successful at leaving next year’s President more tools than I had received. I look forward to hearing and seeing how they will take RHA to new heights within the next year.
So nostalgic I really don’t know what else to say so I will conclude it with a quote,
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.”
