30.12.11
21.12.11
peter pan syndrom
I guess were growing up.
It makes me sad to think that
eventually we wont see eachother
everday or talk as often, or see
eachother at holidays... we will all
have our own lives and families
to take care of. Things will be
different.
---I'm not ready for that---
17.12.11
I am sorry if I am sharing too much about anyone on here because I did not change names but I'm just trying to be honest
Freshman year of High School most of my really good friends happened to be guys much to my Mothers dismay. I hung out at their houses all the time. My mom would always tell me, "it's improper for a girl to be alone with guys." I guess I never understood why because I grew up with two brothers-I was so used to being the only girl. It was natural. I have never been a real 'girly girl' but even in my freshman year it seemed as though guys liked me regardless. I had a MAJOR CRUSH on one of my best guy friends. This is the kind of all consuming crush where it literally hurts to go an hour without thinking about him. The kind where you purposefully stand or sit in spaces with the hope that his hand will gently brush yours. His name was Sam. He had shaggy blond hair that I dreamed a thousand times of running my hands through, baby blue eyes that I could stare into for hours. To me he seemed perfect and little rugged which is what I liked best about him. Like me, he was into classic rock which was a major plus factor. Also like me, he was a little shy and awkward which I found adorable but really caused some problems since neither of us had enough guts to make the first move.
I remember one of the highlights of High School for me was the day he asked me to Homecoming. I had this red leather hat that I wore practically every day of Freshman year and Sam had a black hat with a Pink Floyd patch sown on it. We used to steal each others hats for fun - it was a game we played. An inside joke we used to tease each other about. Well one day we switched hats but something seemed a little off to me. At lunch Sam went with one of his really good girl friends to kings soopers and me and AJ -my other really good guy friend- went to Starbucks and they asked us to meet up later. When we regrouped later he switched hats with me again so I had my red leather one back. All the sudden everyone was just staring at me obviously waiting for me to respond. But to what? I had no idea what was happening. Sam told me to look up. So I did and realized he had taped a note to the inside bill of my hat. It said will you go to homecoming with me? Then from behind his back he pulled out a single rose and gave it to me. I told him yes and that he was so adorable and he deserved a hug. I wanted to live in that hug for the rest of eternity. It was the only school dance I was ever asked to which is sort of depressing yes but it was really sweet (despite my horrid awkwardness) and I wouldn't trade the experience for different dates to all of the other school dances. Then that winter me and my friend KJ decorated Sam's bedroom and I asked him to the snowball dance. He said yes and it was another awesome night.
We stayed friends that whole year and although we were close friends he had a lot going on in his life that I must not have known about. His mom who for the record was an awesome lady and always so nice to me got cancer- thankfully she is now a cancer free now but I imagine that must have been hard to deal with.
Then summer came and for some reason I completely lost contact with all of my best friends from Freshman year. To be honest to this day I don't know what happened. I mean, I don't remember a specific incident or anything bad. All I know is we hardly talked all summer and when school started up again I was hoping things would get back to normal. Sam and I even had an English class together but hardly talked all semester. Things didn't go back to normal. Things changed and I convinced myself that we had just drifted apart. To this day I still wonder what the hell happened?
Sophomore year was the worst year of high school. I went from having a social group I loved and busy Friday nights to no social group (vaguely associating with my friends in the drama dpt.) and hanging by myself in my room every night. I read a lot of books that year and watched a lot of tv.
I can give credit to these things that saved me:
Books: 1.The Perkes of Being a Wallflower by: Stephen Chewbosky & the classic 2) Catcher in the Rye by: J.D Salinger.
Movies that saved me: 1. Almost Famous (still saves me) 2. Donnie Darko & 3. Never been kissed.
TV: 1) The O.C- I was obsessed with this show!
Music: 1. Jet- Get born (in my opinion one of the greatest albums of all time).
---Some days I still miss freshman year---
I remember one of the highlights of High School for me was the day he asked me to Homecoming. I had this red leather hat that I wore practically every day of Freshman year and Sam had a black hat with a Pink Floyd patch sown on it. We used to steal each others hats for fun - it was a game we played. An inside joke we used to tease each other about. Well one day we switched hats but something seemed a little off to me. At lunch Sam went with one of his really good girl friends to kings soopers and me and AJ -my other really good guy friend- went to Starbucks and they asked us to meet up later. When we regrouped later he switched hats with me again so I had my red leather one back. All the sudden everyone was just staring at me obviously waiting for me to respond. But to what? I had no idea what was happening. Sam told me to look up. So I did and realized he had taped a note to the inside bill of my hat. It said will you go to homecoming with me? Then from behind his back he pulled out a single rose and gave it to me. I told him yes and that he was so adorable and he deserved a hug. I wanted to live in that hug for the rest of eternity. It was the only school dance I was ever asked to which is sort of depressing yes but it was really sweet (despite my horrid awkwardness) and I wouldn't trade the experience for different dates to all of the other school dances. Then that winter me and my friend KJ decorated Sam's bedroom and I asked him to the snowball dance. He said yes and it was another awesome night.
We stayed friends that whole year and although we were close friends he had a lot going on in his life that I must not have known about. His mom who for the record was an awesome lady and always so nice to me got cancer- thankfully she is now a cancer free now but I imagine that must have been hard to deal with.
Then summer came and for some reason I completely lost contact with all of my best friends from Freshman year. To be honest to this day I don't know what happened. I mean, I don't remember a specific incident or anything bad. All I know is we hardly talked all summer and when school started up again I was hoping things would get back to normal. Sam and I even had an English class together but hardly talked all semester. Things didn't go back to normal. Things changed and I convinced myself that we had just drifted apart. To this day I still wonder what the hell happened?
Sophomore year was the worst year of high school. I went from having a social group I loved and busy Friday nights to no social group (vaguely associating with my friends in the drama dpt.) and hanging by myself in my room every night. I read a lot of books that year and watched a lot of tv.
I can give credit to these things that saved me:
Books: 1.The Perkes of Being a Wallflower by: Stephen Chewbosky & the classic 2) Catcher in the Rye by: J.D Salinger.
Movies that saved me: 1. Almost Famous (still saves me) 2. Donnie Darko & 3. Never been kissed.
TV: 1) The O.C- I was obsessed with this show!
Music: 1. Jet- Get born (in my opinion one of the greatest albums of all time).
---Some days I still miss freshman year---
Set to sail
The day that I let go of you-
Be it your memory or your hand-
Will be the day I am set to sail
One last time on the open ocean,
A single sail extending from my casket
My flags flying my final colors.
I will say goodbye with but a smile
And my hands will be filled with life
As they drag across your lovely waves.
-Noel I still miss you a lot especially on days like yesterday when it would have been your birthday-
3.12.11
“May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.”
My emotions are all out of wack.
Early Friday morning my Mom woke me up with horrible news. As soon as the words "Noel Cunningham died last night" came out of her mouth tears began flooding like a tsunami that wouldn't stop. The whole day I was an emotional wreck (I still am). Noel Cunningham was with out a doubt the greatest and most caring man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I am thankful that I got the chance to know Noel and I know I wouldn't be half the woman I am today with out his love, knowledge and guidance. He was my hero and my mentor but most of all he was my dear friend. For those of you who unfortunately never knew Noel I will tell you a little bit about his character. Noel was from Ireland originally but moved to the states in his twenties as a chef. Noel lived in Denver for a long time and was a highly regarded man in the community he served at his restaurant Strings. He was not only known for feeding you even when you were not hungry but for feeding those starving around the world. In the 1990's he traveled to Ethiopia, Africa with his wife Tammy where they witnessed horrible poverty. He left the country a man on a mission. I don't think Noel ever knew the meaning of the word "no". Shortly after he and Tammy returned from their trip they started a non profit The Cunningham Foundation who I would travel to Ethiopia with on an all expenses paid trip in 2008. Noel was consistent in always telling me how much he loved me and always reminding me that I could achieve anything I was willing to struggle for. Not only did he raise billions of dollars for those in Ethiopia during his lifetime but in the Denver community he was always providing meals for the homeless during thanksgiving, brunch for Mothers with out a family on Mothers day and anything else he could help out with. His wife and him lived simply so that others could simply live.
Early Friday morning my Mom woke me up with horrible news. As soon as the words "Noel Cunningham died last night" came out of her mouth tears began flooding like a tsunami that wouldn't stop. The whole day I was an emotional wreck (I still am). Noel Cunningham was with out a doubt the greatest and most caring man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I am thankful that I got the chance to know Noel and I know I wouldn't be half the woman I am today with out his love, knowledge and guidance. He was my hero and my mentor but most of all he was my dear friend. For those of you who unfortunately never knew Noel I will tell you a little bit about his character. Noel was from Ireland originally but moved to the states in his twenties as a chef. Noel lived in Denver for a long time and was a highly regarded man in the community he served at his restaurant Strings. He was not only known for feeding you even when you were not hungry but for feeding those starving around the world. In the 1990's he traveled to Ethiopia, Africa with his wife Tammy where they witnessed horrible poverty. He left the country a man on a mission. I don't think Noel ever knew the meaning of the word "no". Shortly after he and Tammy returned from their trip they started a non profit The Cunningham Foundation who I would travel to Ethiopia with on an all expenses paid trip in 2008. Noel was consistent in always telling me how much he loved me and always reminding me that I could achieve anything I was willing to struggle for. Not only did he raise billions of dollars for those in Ethiopia during his lifetime but in the Denver community he was always providing meals for the homeless during thanksgiving, brunch for Mothers with out a family on Mothers day and anything else he could help out with. His wife and him lived simply so that others could simply live.
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| Noel & Tammy in front of a library they help fund in Ethiopia! |
-- "Live a life that demands explination."--
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