Doctors

Just spent my day at the doctors had blood taken and got my first CT scan man do those feel weird. I just want to not be sick please.

Anis Mojgani

"We forgot what we wanted and we became what we become: waitresses and bartenders, city employees and temp positions, we are junkies and one kiss poems and we cry the stars as we write our scars onto dumpsters and electric boxes because the only thing that we can hear is our hearts" Anis Mojgani

:(

Positive thoughts =ing a positive semester

When school started on Monday I had decide to go into the semester with a positive attitude and guess what happened this week...

- I had a really great start to my semester
- I ate lunch with a homeless man
- Volunteered to serve food to the homeless on campus every other Wednesday
- Recognized people in my classes and made friends
- Tried to be more positive at work
- Got involved with CUE (center for urban education) where I will be doing 60+ hours in a middle school classroom this semester (Stoked!!!)
- Got a position possibly tutoring high school students in English on my campus

I declare that this will be a busy but GREAT semester it will be absolutely positively life changingly LEGEN (wait for it) DARY!

Debbie Downer

Trying to write only positive thoughts this week but I have to put the truth in here and get it out...
The doctors found 6 cysts in my moms breasts they removed the liquid from them and don't think they are cancerous but who knows... my mom and  I are both prone to cysts (I have been through that before) which makes our chances of getting cancer higher welp that's a downer...

Im spendi g my work dinner thinking about how i am not ready for school to start tomorrow

Some nights your old voice is like a whisper
Other nights your old voice is a deep growl
With time I hear it less and less, it's fading
But I can't just let bygones be bygones
When it was your fighting words
That nursed me to sleep with tears every night
My fragile 8th grade mind couldn't comprehend
What it means to have a mentally ill brother
B       I        P       O        L        A        R.
That voice I hear will never fully f a  d   e.

Not actually drunk just posting this because it's stuck in my head

I'm grumpy so BEWARE of this lame post

I don't feel good tonight, I am grumpy and I just want to have a good meaningful conversation with people. I want to have a  'real' chat with someone and get advice.

Reminds me of 'The Old Apartment' BNL

Boy meets world 'do good' memorable line

Topanga Lawrence-Matthews: We wanted to know if you had anything left to teach us. 
George Feeny: No. My work with you is done. 
Shawn Hunter: I don't know. That's pretty scary. Going into a whole new world. 
George Feeny: And you are ready to go into that world. 
Eric Matthews: Even me? 
George Feeny: Even you. Believe in yourselves. Dream. Try. Do good. 
Topanga Lawrence-Matthews: Don't you mean do well? 
George Feeny: No I mean do good. 

Senior year

Technically I am starting my Senior year of college although it will take me an extra semester to graduate. It's crazy to think that three years ago I walked onto the Mesa State campus a scared  freshman who didn't realize that you need to separate your whites from your colors when doing laundry. I was best friends with a kid named Josh who just got married, roommates with a boy crazed cow girl who I haven't talked to since moving out and ate daily in the school tent aka MavPav aka our cafeteria. Then sophomore year everything changed because of my job. A job that taught me a helluva lot and I am thankful for that. It taught me that I am a people person, that I'm not a good boss because I am too nice and that I can't manage my time to save my life. I left the people that had changed my life and the place I had called 'home' for Denver. The place I had previously spent eighteen years no long felt like home. I spent time with family, occupy protesters and homeless folk. I saw FUN, Tom Petty and President Obama all within a few months. I turned 21 (not the big whoop I expected). I was asked to be a bridesmaid in my brothers wedding. Here's to the last year and a half I have left of school and procrastinating from the real world for a little bit longer. I can't wait to actually spend more time teaching in a classroom this semester. I miss the students from GJ High school and Mrs.G's class where I worked my second year at Mesa. I hope to continue to get good grades, travel- at least to visit my brother in DC (an open shout out to anyone who wants to join me), and do good this coming school year.

One Tree Hill

I remember Payton asking Lucas, "When all your dreams come true who do you want standing next to you?"  a few seasons later he stands next to her and says, "it's you- when all my dreams come true I want to stand next to you."

I do think this is a valid question for possibly assessing a relationship but it easy to have someone... anyone next to you when things are great. It's the ones who stay with you through all the shit before your dreams come true that matter and the ones who are there after the fame fades away and the spot light moves on. The ones who will wait for you 'till kingdom comes'. I think true love is as simple as being there for each other. The question should be, "Who do you want standing next to you when the future is unknown?"

Some days I'm not sure I even believe in true love. Too many failed and failing relationships clutter my mind. Other days God proves that theory wrong. I think that's why life is so beautiful. Until I find the person I want to stand next to, I guess I'll just have to trust in the unknown future.

--A

'and the world spins madly on'

Our world is centered around the need for human interaction
It is in  everything
we
do
So why do
we
 keep inventing technology whose only purpose serves to

isolate

us
more?
We
go to the grocery store and instead of
real people
checking
us
out
we
have
computers
telling
us,
"hello, please and thank you for shopping at (insert store name here)"
The closest
we
get to
someone
asking us how
we
are and then waiting for a response is when
Facebook
asks
us
"What's on your mind?"
I
know
LonelyGirl5
and the
Numa Numa dance
better than
I
know my own
neighbors.
If
I
have a question
I
don't ask
my
parents
or
teachers
I
ask
Google
and if
Wikipedia
lies to
me
I
believe it.
# (hashtag) truth.
Friends
don't recommend music but
Pandora
does.
I
have
'449'
friends
but less then 5 who
I
would call at 3am
and how many would actually attend
my
funeral?
Yet
449
comments on Facebook expressing sorrow and grief
Fake and sincerer
# (hashtag) truth

And here
I
sit writing to
you
who
are
you
really?

Writing

I have been trying to write something for awhile now...
something beautiful; inspiring, creative
something that adequately expresses how I am feeling
something with nice spacing
maybe I will just post what I have
(look for a next post)

Post title

Blah! Blah! Blah! 

I want a boy friend or even just a friend!

Life is good I guess...

I just got a raise at work ... I mean thats always positive