Somethings stay with you even if you don't want them to.

Made for a princess (If your name begins with P and ends with hillip DO NOT READ!)

You sent me a picture
It was long
And white
With pink undertones
And intricate detailing on the front
Flowed out at the bottom
Made for a princess

Flash back: favorite writing of mine

http://drea-heartoflife.blogspot.com/2010/07/playing-for-change.html

I go to the airport

Hop on the first 409

It’s Denver to Dallas

The city’s asleep tonight

I’m buying time

I look out the window

The world at my finger tips

Possibilities endless

I don’t know where to go with this

Guitar on my back

What it’s like to feel young

The freedom is freeing

But the dreams all sound dumb

I don’t want a nine to five

I don’t want to settle down just yet

I don’t want to leave this world with even one regret

I walk the streets

As the people walk to the bars

I am starting to realize this city is ours

I won’t sleep for days

As I watch the kids play

Guitar on my back

What it’s like to feel young

The freedom is freeing

But the dreams all sound dumb

The man on the corner

Holding a sign for change

But he doesn’t want money

Although it might sound strange

He's playing for change

old old old

This was my first blog post on 24.06.09 http://drea-heartoflife.blogspot.com/2009/06/nothing-great-in-world-has-ever-been.html
I have since written 215 posts. Kinda crazy to re read all my old stuff.

Perfect Lyrics right now: Ready to Fall by Rise Against

Hold on slow down again from the top now and tell me everything
I know I've been gone for what seems like forever
But I'm here now waiting
To convince you that I'm not a ghost or a stranger
But closer than you think
She said just go on 
To what you pretend is your life
But please don't die on me

Wings won't take me
Heights don't faze me
So take a step
But don't look down
Take a step

Now I'm standing on the rooftop, ready to fall
I'm think I'm at the edge now but I could be wrong
I'm standing on a rooftop ready to fall

Perpetual motion, the image won't focus
A blur is all that's seen
But here in this moment like the eye of the storm
It all came clear to me
I found a shoulder to lean on
An infallible reason to live all by itself
I took one last look from the heights that I once loved
And then I ran like hell

Wings won't take me
Heights don't faze me
So take a step
But don't look down
Take a step

Now I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall
I'm think I'm at the edge now but I could be wrong
I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall

I count the times that I've been sorry
I know, I know
Now my compassion slowly drowns
I know, I know
If there's a time these walls could guard you
I know, I know
Then let that time be right now

Now I'm standing on the rooftop
Now I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall
I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall
I'm think I'm at the edge now but I could be wrong
I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall

Now I'm standing on the rooftop (ready to fall)
Now I'm standing on the rooftop (ready to fall)
Now I'm standing on a rooftop (ready to fall)
Now I'm standing on a rooftop ready to fall

Take off your blinders

You're so focused on Her or who you think She is, you hold Her on a pedestal so high it's not even fair or realistic. Take off your blinders and you will see a million amazing women all around. I know She's gorgeous by typical standards but really is that all?  I mean come on I thought you were a little deeper than that, I guess you're still swimming in the kiddy pool call me when your ready for the deep end. I'm out.

That's right Justin Marcus this is for you my dear.

Dear Starbucks Boys,

Thank you. I don't come into Starbucks every time I work nearby because I can't live without my iced caramel coffee, I come in because I have a somewhat HUGE crush on two of the barristas there. Thank you for the occasionally free coffee, the warm smile and the witty banter. Thank you for allowing me to flirt, I missed doing that. I did a Facebook search of your name + Starbucks and guess what you showed up first, three friends in common... turns out we graduated together. Who knew? Maybe if I had known you in high school things would be different. I want to add you on Facebook, but I think that's too obvious, too weird, to creepy. I want to slide my number across the table when I pick up my coffee but we work close by each other and if you thought I was a weirdo I wouldn't be able to hide. I want to be more than a casual acquaintance or customer. I want to ask you to take a break together sometime and go eat real quick... is that too obvious? O' wise soulful Starbucks boy.. what do I do?

--Me

Veronica Mars

Veronica: So what are you like now?
Logan: You know, tortured... ever since I got my heart broken.
Veronica: Hannah really did a number on you, huh?
Logan: Come on, you know I'm not talking about Hannah. I thought our story was epic, you know, you and me.
Veronica: Epic how?
Logan: Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed. EPIC. But summer's almost here, and we won't see each other at all. And then you leave town... and then it's over.
Veronica: Logan...
Logan: I'm sorry about last summer. You know, if I could do it over...
Veronica: Come on. Ruined lives? Bloodshed? You really think a relationship should be that hard?
Logan: No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.

What's your take on 'epic love' should love be as simple as "I want to hold your hand"? Is that too naive and idealistic?   Or should it be an epic, hard fought won battle? Or is that too complicated and dark to be something as sappy as love?

Young Love

We may only have tonight
But till the morning sun, you're mine
All mine
Play the music low
And sway to the rhythm of love

My heart beats like a drum
A guitar string to the strum
A beautiful song to be sung
She's got blue eyes deep like the sea
That roll back when she's laughing at me
She rises up like the tide
The moment her lips meet mine

We may only have tonight
But till the morning sun, you're mine
All mine
Play the music low
And sway to the rhythm of love
-Plain White T's

I feel pretty today

I cut off the birds nest that was my hair.

--contrary to popular belief, knowing your beautiful does not make you conceded it makes you revolutionary--

If this description fits: APPLY WITHIN

I.

Want.

A.

Guy.

I want a guy who loves Jesus more than me.

I want a guy who my brothers like.

I want a guy who likes my brothers.

I want a guy who is smart but not cocky. 

I want a guy who is actually sarcastic and witty.

I want a guy who is interested in current events.

I want a guy who tries to give more than he takes. 

I want a guy who is generally nice to everyone he meets.

I want a guy to stand stand front row at a local concert with me.

I want a guy who would listen to my NPR radio shows with me.

I want a guy who listens to classic rock but doesn't smoke pot all the time.

I want a guy who is what I imagine Marcus Flutie would look like if he were real. 

I want a guy who is down to travel the world and live in a small hut in Africa with me.

I met M at school. He looked to be in his 50's. He looked like the kind of person who's story you just needed to know. He also looked rugged- wearing the same clothes day after day and as some might say he looked a little scary.

However M and I quickly became aquatinces and later friends. We would sit outside in the quad often chatting about life, politics, our beliefs, anything really. I learned that M was basically homeless and had been for years. At the time he had enough money to rent a hotel that he had been staying in. I asked him how at 58 he had dedcided to enroll in college for the first time and how he could afford it.  He said another homeless friend had told him that you could recieve a free RTD pass if you enrolled at Auraria Campus. It sounded good to him! So he figured out how to get student grants and enrolled in college taking 6 credit hours. One math class and one english course. He is probably the most dedicated student I have met on that campus- litterally spending eight to ten hours outside of class a day seven days a week studying.

He once shared with me parts of his life story including becoming "born again through Christ" and then getting kicked out of the pastors house he was staying at after getting involved with the pastors wife, being a troubled teenager, jail and becoming homeless- drifting in and out of jobs. M is a kind soul, he loves talking to people and is always willing to share the food he picks up at the food bank on campus. More than once has he offored me a sandwhich despite the fact that he has no home, no income and very little posessions. We share lunch in the quad and on cold days i'll buy him a hot chocolate.

For M I believe school was a fresh start. I have met several of his homeless friends who he keeps encouraging to enroll in school. I'll hear them say between whisky breaths, "nah man I couldn't do that" and he just keeps telling them that they can and they should.
It seems they all like to drink a lot but M never comes to school drunk, he only drinks at night when hes winding down.

M doesnt know what major he will choose but enjoys English and would like to be a teach but says it's almost impossible due to prior felonies. M has lived so many lives but it seems like he's only just beginning at the age of 58. I have high hopes for M.--

"I write about love and such maybe 'cuz I want it so much now I'm not who I was"- Brandon Heath

I wish that I was enough for a guy to want me- to want to date me- to like me. I know I'm not pretty but I'm nice. I feel like being nice counts for very little these days. There's the sang and popular belief that "nice guys finish last" well, I think the same is true for women. Women seem to mostly be attracted to douche bags and guys seem to me at least to like the bitchiest women. Why is this? I know a woman who was a pathological liar in high school and even she found a guy who liked her enough to want to get married. I honestly feel like I am a pretty awesome person but obviously a failure with men.

Quick, Cheep and Easy

I wish that college was like that (sometimes).

Found an old poem I must have written over a year ago...

Agape

My grandparents met at a Bible study

My grandma was sixteen at the time

A few weeks after meeting they were married

My uncle proposed to my aunt

A few days after she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer

You were there through it all 

You have lived through generations

You are every encyclopedia in every language

You have seen the world through every lens 

and I 

I found You on a hot summers day

In the lines of a poem my grandfather wrote

I found You on the day I finally found myself

I had ignored You for years

Yet You still embarrassed me with open arms

You wrapped me in Your love like a cocoon

Protecting me from the harsh conditions of this world 

You were there through it all

You are everything

You're the nights my brother almost killed himself but didn't 

You're the day my parents met

You're the first painted line on the Sistine Chapel 

You're the kick off whistle at the world cup

You're the song that has yet to be written

You are all consuming 

My eternal lover

Our romance is an epic

You paid the highest price for my sins

You brought me alive before I was just living.

I, myself am a broken person living in a broken world that only God can fix.

"Carry On"

Well I woke up to the sound of silence
the cars were cutting like knives in a fist fight
and I found you with a bottle of wine
your head in the curtains
and heart like the Fourth of July

You swore and said
"We are not
We are not shining stars"
This I know
I never said we are

Though I've never been through hell like that
I've closed enough windows
to know you can never look back

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

Carry on, carry on

So I met up with some friends
at the edge of the night
At a bar off 75
And we talked and talked
about how our parents will die
All our neighbours and wives

But I like to think
I can cheat it all
To make up for the times I've been cheated on
And it's nice to know
When I was left for dead
I was found and now I don't roam these streets
I am not the ghost you want of me

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

Whoa
My head is on fire
But my legs are fine
After all they are mine
Lay your clothes down on the floor
Close the door
Hold the phone
Show me how
No one’s ever gonna stop us now

Cause we are
We are shining stars
We are invincible
We are who we are
On our darkest day
When we’re miles away
Sun will come
We will find our way home

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

Carry on, carry on

Officially a bridesmaid in my brothers wedding! :)

Not so great but I wrote for a writing course last semester and thought you might enjoy!

Hello my name is…

She stood outside the entrance nervously twiddling her thumbs, slightly rocking back and forth on her heels. Thirty years ago her mother had waited outside these wrought iron gates. Now she stood in the same spot well put together. Confidence was building inside of her with each step she took.  She was ready to impress everyone but most importantly she was ready to show Michael Spear who she really was.

“Percy! Is that you?” A high pitched, screechy and annoyingly loud voice asked.

“I go by Percilla now. Have we met?” She vaguely recognized her from studying the old year books.

“Yea I was your class president, prom queen and now chair of the alumni committee. Don’t you remember? The last time we saw each other I think you were preg-” Sharon started to say.

“Nope doesn’t ring a bell sorry.” She continued into the building quickly.

“Well any way you look great now- haven’t aged a day” she yelled after her.

She immediately downed a glass of wine. If she was going to convince everyone of who she was she needed to loosen up a bit first. The graduating class of 1981 had been rather small with only 90 or so other students.  That made it hard to forget someone.

                "Percy!” she heard a group beckon her over.

She took another swig of wine and headed towards the group.

“My lord Percy Jeffers is that really you?” One girl asked.

“It’s Percilla Longoria now. I’m married… to a senator.”

“I have never heard of a Senator Longoria.” Another girl stated suspiciously.

“Different state than where you’re from.”  She announced nonchalantly. “He’s a great guy” she continued “Couldn’t make it tonight. He’s very busy at work. He’s working on some high profile laws right now. You know how life is for a senator and his wife.” She laughed nervously and refilled her already empty wine glass.

She mingled over to another group and began telling them extravagant tales of how she had almost been captured when she was working overseas, the time a pilot let her fly an air plane, when she was almost bitten by a deadly rattle snake and how she was close personal friends with Mark Zuckerburg. It was hard to believe that so many extraordinary things could happen to a single person. She drank more wine and by this time it was hard for her to remember what lies she had told to whom.

She went to walk down the stairs. She was about to go talk to Michael Spear. This was her big moment. This was her grand finale. As Percilla was approaching the last step she missed it and went flying into the air. She landed on her belly but her head hit the stair rail. Everyone came rushing forward. Phones were pulled out and people dialed 911. She was knocked unconscious.

The paramedics arrived shortly.

“What’s her name?” They asked.

“Percilla Longoria!” One person shouted at the same time another person shouted “Percilla Evans!” The paramedics looked at each other confused. Each one claimed that was how she had introduced herself.

“She’s married to Senator Longoria” One man reasoned.

“No” the other man said “she told me her husband was a film producer.”

Everyone was confused who was the modern day Percilla and why had she been lying to everyone? What was really going on? A simple reunion night had turned into an investigation. The police were searching file records for every name that she had used that night. Under the females maiden name Percilla Jeffers the police found a death certificate stating that the woman who was lying on the stretcher before them had died six years prior in a car accident. This reveal led to more confusion and chaos among the officers and the party attendees.

The officers began to interview some of the attendees. One person noted that, “Percy either uses really good skin cream or she just looks a lot younger than the rest of our class. I swear it looks like she hasn’t aged a day.” That thought intrigued the officers.

All of the sudden Percilla or whoever this person was sat straight up on the stretcher and announce slightly short of breath, “My name…. is.. Megan…. Jeffers and Michael Speer is my father. He was at the party tonight. Please find him.”

The police escorted Michael into the room where the story of Percilla and Megan Jeffers was revealed. Michael and Percilla had conceived a baby girl -the now older Megan- on their prom night. Megan had come tonight because she wanted to meet her biological father for the first time.  After her mother’s death a few years ago Megan had begun looking into Percilla’s past to find her father. She wanted to make sure she had the right man so she had pretended to be her mother.  She was going to slyly find out if that was her father and if it was she was going to reveal her true identity. She had finished telling her story and was awaiting Michael’s reaction. Nothing happened. She looked him in the eye stuck out her hand and said, “Hello my name is Megan Jeffers and I believe I am your daughter.”  

An abundance of April

I have a lot of COOL things to look forward to this month...
April 5th- FUN in concert with my friend Sierra! Thanks to Big for the birthday tickets!
April 19th- Tom Petty in concert!!!!!! Second time I will have seen him live!
April 21st- Colorado Rapids V. LA Galaxy! Going with my friend Daniel.. I WILL meet Landon Donovan & of course Drew Moor again!
April 28th- Closing on our new house & my Mom's birthday!

Good times ahead. I truly feel, "young and wild and free"