Senior year

Technically I am starting my Senior year of college although it will take me an extra semester to graduate. It's crazy to think that three years ago I walked onto the Mesa State campus a scared  freshman who didn't realize that you need to separate your whites from your colors when doing laundry. I was best friends with a kid named Josh who just got married, roommates with a boy crazed cow girl who I haven't talked to since moving out and ate daily in the school tent aka MavPav aka our cafeteria. Then sophomore year everything changed because of my job. A job that taught me a helluva lot and I am thankful for that. It taught me that I am a people person, that I'm not a good boss because I am too nice and that I can't manage my time to save my life. I left the people that had changed my life and the place I had called 'home' for Denver. The place I had previously spent eighteen years no long felt like home. I spent time with family, occupy protesters and homeless folk. I saw FUN, Tom Petty and President Obama all within a few months. I turned 21 (not the big whoop I expected). I was asked to be a bridesmaid in my brothers wedding. Here's to the last year and a half I have left of school and procrastinating from the real world for a little bit longer. I can't wait to actually spend more time teaching in a classroom this semester. I miss the students from GJ High school and Mrs.G's class where I worked my second year at Mesa. I hope to continue to get good grades, travel- at least to visit my brother in DC (an open shout out to anyone who wants to join me), and do good this coming school year.

One Tree Hill

I remember Payton asking Lucas, "When all your dreams come true who do you want standing next to you?"  a few seasons later he stands next to her and says, "it's you- when all my dreams come true I want to stand next to you."

I do think this is a valid question for possibly assessing a relationship but it easy to have someone... anyone next to you when things are great. It's the ones who stay with you through all the shit before your dreams come true that matter and the ones who are there after the fame fades away and the spot light moves on. The ones who will wait for you 'till kingdom comes'. I think true love is as simple as being there for each other. The question should be, "Who do you want standing next to you when the future is unknown?"

Some days I'm not sure I even believe in true love. Too many failed and failing relationships clutter my mind. Other days God proves that theory wrong. I think that's why life is so beautiful. Until I find the person I want to stand next to, I guess I'll just have to trust in the unknown future.

--A

'and the world spins madly on'

Our world is centered around the need for human interaction
It is in  everything
we
do
So why do
we
 keep inventing technology whose only purpose serves to

isolate

us
more?
We
go to the grocery store and instead of
real people
checking
us
out
we
have
computers
telling
us,
"hello, please and thank you for shopping at (insert store name here)"
The closest
we
get to
someone
asking us how
we
are and then waiting for a response is when
Facebook
asks
us
"What's on your mind?"
I
know
LonelyGirl5
and the
Numa Numa dance
better than
I
know my own
neighbors.
If
I
have a question
I
don't ask
my
parents
or
teachers
I
ask
Google
and if
Wikipedia
lies to
me
I
believe it.
# (hashtag) truth.
Friends
don't recommend music but
Pandora
does.
I
have
'449'
friends
but less then 5 who
I
would call at 3am
and how many would actually attend
my
funeral?
Yet
449
comments on Facebook expressing sorrow and grief
Fake and sincerer
# (hashtag) truth

And here
I
sit writing to
you
who
are
you
really?

Writing

I have been trying to write something for awhile now...
something beautiful; inspiring, creative
something that adequately expresses how I am feeling
something with nice spacing
maybe I will just post what I have
(look for a next post)

Post title

Blah! Blah! Blah! 

I want a boy friend or even just a friend!

Life is good I guess...

I just got a raise at work ... I mean thats always positive

It's still hard to process what just happened in Colorado. It's one of those moments that you will look back on years from now and remember exactly where you were when you heard the awful news. I remember where I was during the Columbine shooting and when the terrorist attacked on 9/11. Unfortunately I will always remember where I was that early July morning. I had gotten home around 2am from the Batman premier at the theater off Colorado Blvd. Jumped on the internet before I was gonna go to bed and that's when I saw the new reports cluttering my Facebook feed. Then my Mom came in to check on me. Said she had woken up and just seen it on the news. I went and stared at the TV reminiscent on 9/11 until 4am when I forced myself into bed waking up in the morning to 24 hour coverage of the incident. It is truly sad what has happened today and I am praying for all those involved. It is a swift reminder to not take a single moment for granted. Sending my all my love I am deeply sorry.

eight-teen

Four more years to go I told myself
I was so young, nieve
Only eight-teen
If I had known then what I know now
I'd run like hell
You've only got one chance to get away
Before the real world leaves you there to stay
I was so young, nieve
Only eight-teen
Could of jumped ship but I stayed for the ride
Convincing myself that in just four years
I'd be free to follow my dreams
But four turned into five
Time turned into money
Life turned into pride
Dreams turned into broken promises
And now I'm left behind
If I had known then what I know now
I'd run like hell
You've only got one chance to get away
Before the real world leaves you there to stay
I was so young, nieve
Only eight-teen

Obsessed

Switcheroo

Go listen to this... http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/468/switcheroo

...Then take my challenge I plan on doing it too. Go to somewhere where nobody will recognize you then be somebody you're not. Be somebody completely different. I plan on doing this this week. ANNNDDDD GO!

Somethings stay with you even if you don't want them to.

Made for a princess (If your name begins with P and ends with hillip DO NOT READ!)

You sent me a picture
It was long
And white
With pink undertones
And intricate detailing on the front
Flowed out at the bottom
Made for a princess

Flash back: favorite writing of mine

http://drea-heartoflife.blogspot.com/2010/07/playing-for-change.html

I go to the airport

Hop on the first 409

It’s Denver to Dallas

The city’s asleep tonight

I’m buying time

I look out the window

The world at my finger tips

Possibilities endless

I don’t know where to go with this

Guitar on my back

What it’s like to feel young

The freedom is freeing

But the dreams all sound dumb

I don’t want a nine to five

I don’t want to settle down just yet

I don’t want to leave this world with even one regret

I walk the streets

As the people walk to the bars

I am starting to realize this city is ours

I won’t sleep for days

As I watch the kids play

Guitar on my back

What it’s like to feel young

The freedom is freeing

But the dreams all sound dumb

The man on the corner

Holding a sign for change

But he doesn’t want money

Although it might sound strange

He's playing for change

old old old

This was my first blog post on 24.06.09 http://drea-heartoflife.blogspot.com/2009/06/nothing-great-in-world-has-ever-been.html
I have since written 215 posts. Kinda crazy to re read all my old stuff.

Perfect Lyrics right now: Ready to Fall by Rise Against

Hold on slow down again from the top now and tell me everything
I know I've been gone for what seems like forever
But I'm here now waiting
To convince you that I'm not a ghost or a stranger
But closer than you think
She said just go on 
To what you pretend is your life
But please don't die on me

Wings won't take me
Heights don't faze me
So take a step
But don't look down
Take a step

Now I'm standing on the rooftop, ready to fall
I'm think I'm at the edge now but I could be wrong
I'm standing on a rooftop ready to fall

Perpetual motion, the image won't focus
A blur is all that's seen
But here in this moment like the eye of the storm
It all came clear to me
I found a shoulder to lean on
An infallible reason to live all by itself
I took one last look from the heights that I once loved
And then I ran like hell

Wings won't take me
Heights don't faze me
So take a step
But don't look down
Take a step

Now I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall
I'm think I'm at the edge now but I could be wrong
I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall

I count the times that I've been sorry
I know, I know
Now my compassion slowly drowns
I know, I know
If there's a time these walls could guard you
I know, I know
Then let that time be right now

Now I'm standing on the rooftop
Now I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall
I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall
I'm think I'm at the edge now but I could be wrong
I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall

Now I'm standing on the rooftop (ready to fall)
Now I'm standing on the rooftop (ready to fall)
Now I'm standing on a rooftop (ready to fall)
Now I'm standing on a rooftop ready to fall

Take off your blinders

You're so focused on Her or who you think She is, you hold Her on a pedestal so high it's not even fair or realistic. Take off your blinders and you will see a million amazing women all around. I know She's gorgeous by typical standards but really is that all?  I mean come on I thought you were a little deeper than that, I guess you're still swimming in the kiddy pool call me when your ready for the deep end. I'm out.

That's right Justin Marcus this is for you my dear.

Dear Starbucks Boys,

Thank you. I don't come into Starbucks every time I work nearby because I can't live without my iced caramel coffee, I come in because I have a somewhat HUGE crush on two of the barristas there. Thank you for the occasionally free coffee, the warm smile and the witty banter. Thank you for allowing me to flirt, I missed doing that. I did a Facebook search of your name + Starbucks and guess what you showed up first, three friends in common... turns out we graduated together. Who knew? Maybe if I had known you in high school things would be different. I want to add you on Facebook, but I think that's too obvious, too weird, to creepy. I want to slide my number across the table when I pick up my coffee but we work close by each other and if you thought I was a weirdo I wouldn't be able to hide. I want to be more than a casual acquaintance or customer. I want to ask you to take a break together sometime and go eat real quick... is that too obvious? O' wise soulful Starbucks boy.. what do I do?

--Me

Veronica Mars

Veronica: So what are you like now?
Logan: You know, tortured... ever since I got my heart broken.
Veronica: Hannah really did a number on you, huh?
Logan: Come on, you know I'm not talking about Hannah. I thought our story was epic, you know, you and me.
Veronica: Epic how?
Logan: Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed. EPIC. But summer's almost here, and we won't see each other at all. And then you leave town... and then it's over.
Veronica: Logan...
Logan: I'm sorry about last summer. You know, if I could do it over...
Veronica: Come on. Ruined lives? Bloodshed? You really think a relationship should be that hard?
Logan: No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.

What's your take on 'epic love' should love be as simple as "I want to hold your hand"? Is that too naive and idealistic?   Or should it be an epic, hard fought won battle? Or is that too complicated and dark to be something as sappy as love?

Young Love

We may only have tonight
But till the morning sun, you're mine
All mine
Play the music low
And sway to the rhythm of love

My heart beats like a drum
A guitar string to the strum
A beautiful song to be sung
She's got blue eyes deep like the sea
That roll back when she's laughing at me
She rises up like the tide
The moment her lips meet mine

We may only have tonight
But till the morning sun, you're mine
All mine
Play the music low
And sway to the rhythm of love
-Plain White T's

I feel pretty today

I cut off the birds nest that was my hair.

--contrary to popular belief, knowing your beautiful does not make you conceded it makes you revolutionary--