30.12.11
21.12.11
peter pan syndrom
I guess were growing up.
It makes me sad to think that
eventually we wont see eachother
everday or talk as often, or see
eachother at holidays... we will all
have our own lives and families
to take care of. Things will be
different.
---I'm not ready for that---
17.12.11
I am sorry if I am sharing too much about anyone on here because I did not change names but I'm just trying to be honest
Freshman year of High School most of my really good friends happened to be guys much to my Mothers dismay. I hung out at their houses all the time. My mom would always tell me, "it's improper for a girl to be alone with guys." I guess I never understood why because I grew up with two brothers-I was so used to being the only girl. It was natural. I have never been a real 'girly girl' but even in my freshman year it seemed as though guys liked me regardless. I had a MAJOR CRUSH on one of my best guy friends. This is the kind of all consuming crush where it literally hurts to go an hour without thinking about him. The kind where you purposefully stand or sit in spaces with the hope that his hand will gently brush yours. His name was Sam. He had shaggy blond hair that I dreamed a thousand times of running my hands through, baby blue eyes that I could stare into for hours. To me he seemed perfect and little rugged which is what I liked best about him. Like me, he was into classic rock which was a major plus factor. Also like me, he was a little shy and awkward which I found adorable but really caused some problems since neither of us had enough guts to make the first move.
I remember one of the highlights of High School for me was the day he asked me to Homecoming. I had this red leather hat that I wore practically every day of Freshman year and Sam had a black hat with a Pink Floyd patch sown on it. We used to steal each others hats for fun - it was a game we played. An inside joke we used to tease each other about. Well one day we switched hats but something seemed a little off to me. At lunch Sam went with one of his really good girl friends to kings soopers and me and AJ -my other really good guy friend- went to Starbucks and they asked us to meet up later. When we regrouped later he switched hats with me again so I had my red leather one back. All the sudden everyone was just staring at me obviously waiting for me to respond. But to what? I had no idea what was happening. Sam told me to look up. So I did and realized he had taped a note to the inside bill of my hat. It said will you go to homecoming with me? Then from behind his back he pulled out a single rose and gave it to me. I told him yes and that he was so adorable and he deserved a hug. I wanted to live in that hug for the rest of eternity. It was the only school dance I was ever asked to which is sort of depressing yes but it was really sweet (despite my horrid awkwardness) and I wouldn't trade the experience for different dates to all of the other school dances. Then that winter me and my friend KJ decorated Sam's bedroom and I asked him to the snowball dance. He said yes and it was another awesome night.
We stayed friends that whole year and although we were close friends he had a lot going on in his life that I must not have known about. His mom who for the record was an awesome lady and always so nice to me got cancer- thankfully she is now a cancer free now but I imagine that must have been hard to deal with.
Then summer came and for some reason I completely lost contact with all of my best friends from Freshman year. To be honest to this day I don't know what happened. I mean, I don't remember a specific incident or anything bad. All I know is we hardly talked all summer and when school started up again I was hoping things would get back to normal. Sam and I even had an English class together but hardly talked all semester. Things didn't go back to normal. Things changed and I convinced myself that we had just drifted apart. To this day I still wonder what the hell happened?
Sophomore year was the worst year of high school. I went from having a social group I loved and busy Friday nights to no social group (vaguely associating with my friends in the drama dpt.) and hanging by myself in my room every night. I read a lot of books that year and watched a lot of tv.
I can give credit to these things that saved me:
Books: 1.The Perkes of Being a Wallflower by: Stephen Chewbosky & the classic 2) Catcher in the Rye by: J.D Salinger.
Movies that saved me: 1. Almost Famous (still saves me) 2. Donnie Darko & 3. Never been kissed.
TV: 1) The O.C- I was obsessed with this show!
Music: 1. Jet- Get born (in my opinion one of the greatest albums of all time).
---Some days I still miss freshman year---
I remember one of the highlights of High School for me was the day he asked me to Homecoming. I had this red leather hat that I wore practically every day of Freshman year and Sam had a black hat with a Pink Floyd patch sown on it. We used to steal each others hats for fun - it was a game we played. An inside joke we used to tease each other about. Well one day we switched hats but something seemed a little off to me. At lunch Sam went with one of his really good girl friends to kings soopers and me and AJ -my other really good guy friend- went to Starbucks and they asked us to meet up later. When we regrouped later he switched hats with me again so I had my red leather one back. All the sudden everyone was just staring at me obviously waiting for me to respond. But to what? I had no idea what was happening. Sam told me to look up. So I did and realized he had taped a note to the inside bill of my hat. It said will you go to homecoming with me? Then from behind his back he pulled out a single rose and gave it to me. I told him yes and that he was so adorable and he deserved a hug. I wanted to live in that hug for the rest of eternity. It was the only school dance I was ever asked to which is sort of depressing yes but it was really sweet (despite my horrid awkwardness) and I wouldn't trade the experience for different dates to all of the other school dances. Then that winter me and my friend KJ decorated Sam's bedroom and I asked him to the snowball dance. He said yes and it was another awesome night.
We stayed friends that whole year and although we were close friends he had a lot going on in his life that I must not have known about. His mom who for the record was an awesome lady and always so nice to me got cancer- thankfully she is now a cancer free now but I imagine that must have been hard to deal with.
Then summer came and for some reason I completely lost contact with all of my best friends from Freshman year. To be honest to this day I don't know what happened. I mean, I don't remember a specific incident or anything bad. All I know is we hardly talked all summer and when school started up again I was hoping things would get back to normal. Sam and I even had an English class together but hardly talked all semester. Things didn't go back to normal. Things changed and I convinced myself that we had just drifted apart. To this day I still wonder what the hell happened?
Sophomore year was the worst year of high school. I went from having a social group I loved and busy Friday nights to no social group (vaguely associating with my friends in the drama dpt.) and hanging by myself in my room every night. I read a lot of books that year and watched a lot of tv.
I can give credit to these things that saved me:
Books: 1.The Perkes of Being a Wallflower by: Stephen Chewbosky & the classic 2) Catcher in the Rye by: J.D Salinger.
Movies that saved me: 1. Almost Famous (still saves me) 2. Donnie Darko & 3. Never been kissed.
TV: 1) The O.C- I was obsessed with this show!
Music: 1. Jet- Get born (in my opinion one of the greatest albums of all time).
---Some days I still miss freshman year---
Set to sail
The day that I let go of you-
Be it your memory or your hand-
Will be the day I am set to sail
One last time on the open ocean,
A single sail extending from my casket
My flags flying my final colors.
I will say goodbye with but a smile
And my hands will be filled with life
As they drag across your lovely waves.
-Noel I still miss you a lot especially on days like yesterday when it would have been your birthday-
3.12.11
“May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.”
My emotions are all out of wack.
Early Friday morning my Mom woke me up with horrible news. As soon as the words "Noel Cunningham died last night" came out of her mouth tears began flooding like a tsunami that wouldn't stop. The whole day I was an emotional wreck (I still am). Noel Cunningham was with out a doubt the greatest and most caring man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I am thankful that I got the chance to know Noel and I know I wouldn't be half the woman I am today with out his love, knowledge and guidance. He was my hero and my mentor but most of all he was my dear friend. For those of you who unfortunately never knew Noel I will tell you a little bit about his character. Noel was from Ireland originally but moved to the states in his twenties as a chef. Noel lived in Denver for a long time and was a highly regarded man in the community he served at his restaurant Strings. He was not only known for feeding you even when you were not hungry but for feeding those starving around the world. In the 1990's he traveled to Ethiopia, Africa with his wife Tammy where they witnessed horrible poverty. He left the country a man on a mission. I don't think Noel ever knew the meaning of the word "no". Shortly after he and Tammy returned from their trip they started a non profit The Cunningham Foundation who I would travel to Ethiopia with on an all expenses paid trip in 2008. Noel was consistent in always telling me how much he loved me and always reminding me that I could achieve anything I was willing to struggle for. Not only did he raise billions of dollars for those in Ethiopia during his lifetime but in the Denver community he was always providing meals for the homeless during thanksgiving, brunch for Mothers with out a family on Mothers day and anything else he could help out with. His wife and him lived simply so that others could simply live.
Early Friday morning my Mom woke me up with horrible news. As soon as the words "Noel Cunningham died last night" came out of her mouth tears began flooding like a tsunami that wouldn't stop. The whole day I was an emotional wreck (I still am). Noel Cunningham was with out a doubt the greatest and most caring man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I am thankful that I got the chance to know Noel and I know I wouldn't be half the woman I am today with out his love, knowledge and guidance. He was my hero and my mentor but most of all he was my dear friend. For those of you who unfortunately never knew Noel I will tell you a little bit about his character. Noel was from Ireland originally but moved to the states in his twenties as a chef. Noel lived in Denver for a long time and was a highly regarded man in the community he served at his restaurant Strings. He was not only known for feeding you even when you were not hungry but for feeding those starving around the world. In the 1990's he traveled to Ethiopia, Africa with his wife Tammy where they witnessed horrible poverty. He left the country a man on a mission. I don't think Noel ever knew the meaning of the word "no". Shortly after he and Tammy returned from their trip they started a non profit The Cunningham Foundation who I would travel to Ethiopia with on an all expenses paid trip in 2008. Noel was consistent in always telling me how much he loved me and always reminding me that I could achieve anything I was willing to struggle for. Not only did he raise billions of dollars for those in Ethiopia during his lifetime but in the Denver community he was always providing meals for the homeless during thanksgiving, brunch for Mothers with out a family on Mothers day and anything else he could help out with. His wife and him lived simply so that others could simply live.
 |
| Noel & Tammy in front of a library they help fund in Ethiopia! |
-- "Live a life that demands explination."--
5.11.11
31.10.11
So here I am writing which is pretty much all I seem to be doing lately... just not so much on here. To be honest life's pretty shitty right now. I keep fucking everything up. Everything is fucked up. At least the doctors know whats wrong with me now... I have been diagnosed with several things (they all suck...) I hate this house. I hate a lot of shit right now. Trying to stay positive but I don't know if I can... I'll be fine just need to give it time.
18.10.11
SMASH PHOTOGRAPHY! LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY!
So, I haven't posted anything of significance in quite a long time. I guess I cant say much except that life is flying by. Lots of school work, lots of work work and some fun has been thrown in their as well. Over all it's been good! Last weekend one of my best friends Nicole Skaff came to town... it was the best time I have had in forever! Man do I miss EVERYONE at Mesa :( I am excited for this weekend... I will be participating in the Denver Zombie Crawl (they are attempting to break a world record for worlds largest Zombie crawl last year was 20,000 strong). But even more exciting on that day Joe Ginsberg will be back in town and will be playing a small show with is new band Baywood at Illegal Petes!!! :D Tomorrow I am going to visit the Occupy Denver protest to get some to information and ideas for my creative non fiction piece due Friday. I am very intrigued by everything that is happening around me. We live in such interesting times! Also planning a trip out with my brother next summer to do a two(ish) week hike of the Appalachian Trail!!! So good... Also, I have been in and out of doctors offices... need to get more blood testing done. Also, my grandpa is really sick probably wont live much longer :( I miss him...
SMASH PHOTOGRAPHY!
So, I haven't posted anything of significance in quite a long time. I guess I cant say much except that life is flying by. Lots of school work, lots of work work and some fun has been thrown in their as well. Over all it's been good! Last weekend one of my best friends Nicole Skaff came to town... it was the best time I have had in forever! Man do I miss EVERYONE at Mesa :( I am excited for this weekend... I will be participating in the Denver Zombie Crawl (they are attempting to break a world record for worlds largest Zombie crawl last year was 20,000 strong). But even more exciting on that day Joe Ginsberg will be back in town and will be playing a small show with is new band Baywood at Illegal Petes!!! :D Tomorrow I am going to visit the Occupy Denver protest to get some to information and ideas for my creative non fiction piece due Friday. I am very intrigued by everything that is happening around me. We live in such interesting times! Also planning a trip out with my brother next summer to do a two(ish) week hike of the Appalachian Trail!!! So good...
3.10.11
Dear Megan,
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| Laura, Me ,Pearl, Megan & Kevan celebrating Megans 21st! |
Yesterday was one of my Oldest and Best friends 21st birthdays! I have known her 10 years. I met Megan in 6th grade science class with Mr. Burke. The first time we hung out I made up and sang "The Jelly Bean" song to her. Our older brothers were in the same grade and were best friends (they still are). I have always considered Adam (her brother) like a brother to me. I grew up with her family just as she grew up with mine. Last night we celebrated! It had probably been a year since i'd last seen her (I see Adam more than I see Megan) but if felt as if no time had passed at all. That right there is a true friend!
24.9.11
Psalm 30
1 I will exalt you, LORD,
for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
2 LORD my God, I called to you for help,
and you healed me.
3 You, LORD, brought me up from the realm of the dead;
you spared me from going down to the pit.
for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
2 LORD my God, I called to you for help,
and you healed me.
3 You, LORD, brought me up from the realm of the dead;
you spared me from going down to the pit.
4 Sing the praises of the LORD, you his faithful people;
praise his holy name.
5 For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.
praise his holy name.
5 For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.
6 When I felt secure, I said,
“I will never be shaken.”
7 LORD, when you favored me,
you made my royal mountain[c] stand firm;
but when you hid your face,
I was dismayed.
“I will never be shaken.”
7 LORD, when you favored me,
you made my royal mountain[c] stand firm;
but when you hid your face,
I was dismayed.
8 To you, LORD, I called;
to the Lord I cried for mercy:
9 “What is gained if I am silenced,
if I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
10 Hear, LORD, and be merciful to me;
LORD, be my help.”
to the Lord I cried for mercy:
9 “What is gained if I am silenced,
if I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
10 Hear, LORD, and be merciful to me;
LORD, be my help.”
11 You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
12 that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
LORD my God, I will praise you forever.
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
12 that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
LORD my God, I will praise you forever.
20.9.11
So my College news paper does this amazing column called "On the Record" where people write about an album/ band that has impacted their life and the stories behind it. I pick up the Met every week just read this section. I knew as soon as I saw it that I wanted to contribute. So tonight I wrote my own piece and I contacted them about how to submit my work. Hopefully it will be published soon! You can view past submissions here: http://www.metnews.org/category/features/audiofiles/on-the-record/ Seriously there are tons of 'em. any music lover would appreciate them.
19.9.11
18.9.11
5.9.11
25.8.11
Basically to sum up everything I am about to write in this post into one sentence.... Life is crazy intense.
So if you wish, you can stop reading here and forget all the boring almost tedious details of my life.
S T O P
(if you wish)
The past few days at my new school have been different, challenging and exciting. There are some major things I love about the Auraria Campus and some major things I miss about Mesa. This semester I am taking 17 credit hours (a Spanish class that is 5 credits, 3different English classes and a Special Education class). Here are some of my favorite parts of camps.
So if you wish, you can stop reading here and forget all the boring almost tedious details of my life.
S T O P
(if you wish)
The past few days at my new school have been different, challenging and exciting. There are some major things I love about the Auraria Campus and some major things I miss about Mesa. This semester I am taking 17 credit hours (a Spanish class that is 5 credits, 3different English classes and a Special Education class). Here are some of my favorite parts of camps.
 |
| St. Cajetan’s Center |
 |
| St. Cajetan’s Center |
 |
The Tivoli Student Union One of Denver’s earliest breweries, the Tivoli is a striking architectural example of the city's flamboyant past. Originally named the Colorado Brewery in 1866, Tivoli was founded by German immigrant Moritz Sigi. Subsequent owner Max Melsheimer added the prominent seven story mansard tower and the Turnhalle opera house. In 1901 brewer John Good took over operations, renaming the building Tivoli after the famous gardens in Copenhagen, Denmark. The Tivoli was one of the most successful breweries in the Rockies, and one of the few to survive prohibition. A major flood and labor strikes forced its closure in 1969. When the Auraria Campus was built, a private developer leased the building and restored it as a specialty shopping center. In 1991, students voted to buy back the lease and renovate the building as a combination retail center and student union. |
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| View from campus of down town |
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| New view! |
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| Light rail- I take it to and from school each day its a 45 minute ride each way. It also a great place to people watch! |
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| The Aurarua Library what a unique bldg. |
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| Ninth Street Historic Park At the heart of the Auraria Campus, thirteen restored Victorian cottages and one turn-of-the century grocery store serve as a picturesque reminder of the city’s earliest days. The structures on Ninth Street Historic Park, built between 1872 and 1906, comprise the oldest restored block of residences in the city. Ninth Street houses now serve as campus offices. A self-guided walking tour at each building provides information on architecture and early residents. There is no charge for visiting the Park. |
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| This old grocery store in 9th street is now a fantastic Einstine Bros hang out! |
*********************************************************************************
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| My campus has it's own movie theatre! |
Auraria campus is comprised of three different schools: Colorado University at Denver, Metropolitan State College of Denver and Community College of Denver (Note: no matter what school you attend you can take many classes at any of the three schools). This combined with the urban setting makes it the perfect back drop for a diverse student campus. Walking around campus I have seen students age 18-80 conversing, people of all ethnic backgrounds interacting, and every sterotype you can imagine. I saw buisness men in suites wearing Cachos, student drum circles, preppy fashionistas, a man dressed like superman on stilts, a homeless man selling The Voice (which is Denvers homeless newspapper written by the homeless, sold by the homeless, providing money for the homeless), a lady asking for signatures to legalize marajuana, and someone from Children International asking me to support a child all in the same block. It's a little well ok alot overwhelming trying to find your own spot at a place thats already crowded but its also so easy for me to get hooked on the mosaic of this campus. I am still finding my nich, trying to make friends, trying to make Metro the home that Mesa became to me for two years. I'm working on it. I'm jumping in to this crazy pool of people and learning to stand where I fit best.
19.8.11
Mirror mirror on the wall...
I’m staring at my worst enemy and it’s me that’s looking back
With a nose the size of Mount Everest
And black heads like pot holes on an old worn down road
Eyes like mud puddles covered by thick dark glasses
Teeth like a jig saw puzzle
Arms not flabby but weak
Breasts much bigger than necessary
A stomach that says I love a late night snack
Scars across my hips, thighs and legs
Cover up the slight beauty of my soccer toned calves
Wide feet caused by my barefoot habit and mother’s genes
I am imperfection.
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