11/18
Today was an emotionally intense day! I saw this guest speaker two periods in a row. He talked about the shooting at Columbine. His sister was the first one shot on that day. He talked about the legacy she left behind and the impact she had on his life. He related her compassion to others to Ann Frank. Then he talked about "The Challange" that is to basically be a good person and give back to others. He also talked about what happened to him during the shootings. He was in the library with his two best friends when the shooters came in. To his one friend they yelled racial slurs and shot him dead and the last thing he said was "I want my Mom." His other friend was also shot right before his eyes. It was a miricle he was saved! The speaker emphisized telling everyone that you love them. This kid named "Bob" is a little socially akward and he tends to get made fun of. Anyway, he came up to me after the speech and told me, "I want you to know you have been my really good friend." I started crying in front of my teachers because I felt so guilty. This kid was telling me how niced I had been to him when in actuality I often tried to ignore him. I felt like a horrible person, I was a horrible person. I vow to never treat a great person like that again. Tomarrow I leave for Ethiopia I hope I don't cry when I am there...
I am sorry to myself and to others. I have not lived up to be the person I wanted to be. I am judgemental (of myself and others). I don't reach out to those I don't understand. I guess this makes me human but I want more. I want to be better. I know I am better than this. In order to stop juding others I need to first stop judging myself. I need to love myself and im not there yet... Working on it with God though and that's all I can ask.
<3
This is so wise and so true. I admire you so much for this goal, it's something I need to focus on too. Thank you for sharing your revelations!
ReplyDeleteI love you so so much.