Things I ABSOLUTELY LOVE and ADORE!

Koi Fish

Hammocks 

Union Station Denver,CO

Anything Zombie related

I love when people use this phrase

Reading books!

Forts! So fun!

I have an odd obsession with this show! Watch before you judge!

Mmmm...

Thrift stores!

Blooming tea! Hard to find these days!

Bubble wrap.

Glow in the dark stars!

Nice notes!

Tire strings!

String lights

Love this old ad 

campaign

Waldo and Carmen classic!

Pure beauty I belong here.

Injera- Ethiopian spongy bread!

The Buried Life

Water! Beaches! Ocean!

Hiking boots!

Computers with mass stickers!

Passport= freedom to travel

Dreads 

First loves!

FNL!

The Beatles

Andy Warhol

Backpacking

All thing 90's

Batman!

Tuxedo T Shirts

Bucket lists!

Things made of duct tape

Coffee and PostSecret.com

CO Rapids Moor #3

Landon Donovan

Photography

Couches on front porches

Spin wheel pottery!

Suite coat jackets

Recycle

Sharpies on converse

Spin wheel

Mmm Ethiopia has the best beer!

CO Pride! Native!

Slam poetry!

I just gave in and gave up. Time to pray for forgiveness I am so sorry.

Jeremiah 29:11

Mike and I discuss the future into the wee hours of the night on the front porch of the 'man cave'- a place where he lives with his three best friends. He tells me that the first rule of the 'man cave' is you do not interrupt a bro when he is playing Call Of Duty. This house he describes is the quintessential male college house. I can tell he is nervous as he is graduating in four days and getting married in twenty-six. Mike is sincere when he talks about his finance Melinda. I have never met her but she sounds like a real beauty and a "charmer" as Mike describes. I ask him about his plans and he responds that the only thing laid in stone is this marriage. He goes on to explain that he wouldn't want it any other way,"Life is like a road trip, you can try to plan it all out but in the end you'll end up taking a detour or getting lost. Theres no point in planning but you need a partner. What's the fun in road trippin' alone?" He has the words live recklessly tattooed one on each wrist. I confess I find it hard to relate to Mike's laid back attitude about the future. His response: "He knows."

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

1 John 4:18

She sits next to me at the table. As we begin to discuss our lives she tells me that if I were to ask her a year ago she would have told me that her biggest fear in life was being homeless. "I always thought I was one pay check away from being homeless since I was a single mother and all. It scared me so much so that I couldn't even look at homeless people on the street." She speaks in a low yet self assured voice. I ask her what it feels like now. In between sips of coffee she tells me, "Ya know, I think God wanted to challenge me. He wanted to erase that fear and force me to lean on him more." She stopped pensively and went on to tell me that she knows God has a plan for her life. She expressed the sadness she feels about being homeless but also knows that, God wouldn't give her anything she couldn't handle. It's been two years she tells me forcing a smile on to her face.

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear 

COOL

Apparently I'm a bitch. I'm not sorry for being honest....

Dear Mesa State or should I start saying Colorado Mesa University

Tonight was the end of Pinon Palloozza and my last event as Mesa State’s RHA President. I am feeling quite nostalgic, sad and yes happy about this moment. For those of you reading this who don’t know next year I will not be returning to Mesa State. I am transferring to a school back near my home in Denver. The last two years have been some of the best two years of my life. I have had awesome moments and seen tremendous growth in me as a person.

To be honest this year has been really rough. Last year had some rough moments too like when my amazing Grandpa passed away or when I sat alone outside of Tolman on my first day at Mesa just praying, “God if you are real please just let someone come talk to me, please let me make a friend.” I was so nervous that I would not fit in here; I was so scared to be at a school where I knew absolutely no one. Yet that was why I choose Mesa in the first place. I wanted to be outside of my comfort zone. I had this theory that the further outside of your comfort zone you go the more you will grow and the more you will learn. I proved that theory true. But it’s time to go home now. Time to get back to my roots. Maybe, I am just tired and by the end of summer I will want to return to Mesa but as it stand now I am ready to leave. Let me clarify I am ready but sad. I have less than two weeks left and I keep thinking about all the things I’ve wanted to do up here and don’t have time to do. In fact, I haven’t even told most people that I don’t plan on coming back because it’s too fucking hard for me to say goodbye. I love these people they are my brothers and sisters and not seeing them on a daily basis will be an adjustment for sure. These people and the memories I have shared with them are the reason these past two years have been the best out of all twenty years thus far. I want everyone to know I love them and I know for sure one person who will read this is one person at Mesa who has had a huge influence on my life so, Thank You!

I want everyone to know that at the end of the day I can honestly say I gave my 100% this year to my classes and to my position on RHA. I learned this year that I am a person who gets easily overwhelmed, cautious and stressed. To be honest I had never experienced stress like this before. This is the kind of stress that leaves you crying in the bathroom on the phone to your mom for 30 minutes because you just failed your 3^rd Biology test. But I also experienced joy. The joys of seeing 30 people show up to an event you planned about Africa.Or watching a complete stranger pray with me because I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said, “I don’t want her to die not right now.” I will miss every other Wednesday morning that I was privileged enough to make new friends over breakfast with my friend Emily at homeward bound. I will miss TNL and all that comes with it. Too much there to write about.


I will miss RHA a lot but I am so glad that Pinon Palloozza just ended. I feel relieved that it all went relatively well. We rocked! I love my RHA e board including my advisor who has constantly supported me this year. I am sad that I will not be returning to support next year’s RHA e board but I hope that I have been successful at leaving next year’s President more tools than I had received. I look forward to hearing and seeing how they will take RHA to new heights within the next year.

So nostalgic I really don’t know what else to say so I will conclude it with a quote, 

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” 

Boom Boom

I know that I have not posted in literally forever but I have a story to share.

The other day I received the privilege  of going to Grand Junction high school and helping out in the English as a Second Language class.First off, the teacher I met was an amazing woman who I feel so blessed to have met! I figured I would just sit in the background and watch to see how she operated her class but as soon as kids showed up for homework help she put me right to work. I got to interact with the students we talked about soccer at one point which was fun because it allowed us to relate to each other. Then I met a girl who needed help with her math homework she happened to be from Ethiopia! As all of you probably know a few years back I got to travel to Ethiopia for eight days. I know I enjoyed being able to connect with her through my passion and love for Africa but I could tell she lit up when I said a few words I remembered like"ameseginalehu" which is "thank you" and discussing injera which is Ethiopian spongy bread! It was so much fun and I was asked to come back as often as I can and I definitely plan on doing that!

I wrote this on Sunday June 13, 2010 and it still rings true today....

1. I am shy and awkward unless I am around my best friends. 
2. I want to end war, suffering, global poverty and change the world but I don’t believe in myself enough to accomplish my dreams. 
3. I love and respect pretty much everyone but if you lie to me I probably won’t respect or like you. 
4. I’ll tell anyone about Africa – facts, my trip there, my love for the continent and its people- I could talk about it for hours. 
5. I write poetry and one day I hope I am brave enough to share it on a stage in front of a crowd (I am actually a published poet!) 
6. I hate being judged and hate it when I see myself judging others. 
7. I often feel worthless because I don’t fight for human rights and peace every second of every day that I live. 
8. Sometimes I think my morals and beliefs hold me back from truly living life as a 19 year old. I wonder what I am missing. 
9. I am NEVER quite satisfied. 
10. My greatest fear is not dying alone, my greatest fear is not living up to the plan God has for me. I know I am supposed to be a great humanitarian! 
11. I judge myself and hold myself to moral standards that even I can’t live up to.
12. I talk to myself; a lot actually. 
13. I hate drama and I manage to stay away from it most the time. 
14. I don’t believe in the old sang “forgive and forget” instead I tell you “forgive and don’t forget” once you forget you allow history to repeat it’s self. 
15. I believe everything is a form of art. 
16. I can’t drive a car or ride a bike- they scare the hell out of me. I guess it’s because I don’t trust myself with mine or someone else’s life. 
17. For a long time all I wanted more than anything was a guy that would make me feel worthy as a woman. I am learning to love myself now but wouldn’t mind if a cute boy wanted to take me out on some cliché or non-cliché dates. 
18. I love to dance but you’ll never catch me doing it in public. I think I only danced 3 times at the dances in high school. 
19. One of my favorite things to do is swing in the park! I used to play a game where I would try to touch the moon or tree branches with my feet. It gave me the feeling of flying. I wish I could fly! 
20. I want to believe in love and marriage but the divorce rate and marriages I have seen in my own life make me believe less and less each day. 
21. I usually have more guy friends then girls- my mom used to get upset that all my friends were male- and I tend to confide in them more because there honest, straight forward and drama free! I love all my guy friends! (No offence to my girls! I love yall too!) 
22. I wish I was more confident and willing to accept who God has made me. 
23. I speak the language of sarcasm fluently- this sometimes offends people. I am sorry but the house I grew up in spoke it fluently at the dinner table so I have learned from the best. 
24. I believe music, food and sports breaks are the three things all barriers and connect people of different race, religions and backgrounds together. 
25. I love making mix CD’s. It’s what I do. If you ever need a themed CD or random CD let know! 

“Mastering the art of travel is not accomplished with practice or talent no school will give you a bachelor’s degree on not getting shot when back packing through eastern Africa or avoiding Montezuma’s revenge on your trek through Mexico. It’s a way of life unknown to the majority.  It’s almost impossible to convey to your friends back home over the course of a single conversation. It’s more of a feeling. It’s the excitement I experience the night before a trip. The high that comes with booking a one way train ticket to a place I’ve never heard of. The little things that often go unnoticed.  The friends I’ve made, the countries I’ve called home and all the bugs I’ve eaten by accident.   Mastering the art of travel requires deviating from one’s plans” - The art of travel

One Season Wonders

One season wonders:Celebrating shows that were taken off the air too soon or those that had a long life but are gone and I miss them. 

• Freaks and Geeks: This series aired on NBC network from 1999-2000 with only one season being released due to poor ratings. The show was highly reviewed by critics and had a strong cult following (which helped lead to it's eventual DVD release). The series appeared on Time magazine's 2007 "100 Greatest Shows of All Time" list, and in 2008 Entertainment Weekly ranked it the 13th-best series of the past 25 years.). This brilliant portrayal of suburban high school life was created by the mastermind producer Judd Apatow and featured several now famous actors in career making roles. It had actors such as Linda Cardellini (E.R), John Daley (Bones), James Franco (Spider man), Jason Segel (I love you man) and Seth Rogen (Knocked up). The show not only had an amazing cast but a brilliant plot that followed sister and brother Lindsey and Sam through the trials of high school in a small Michigan town set in the 1980's. The soundtrack featured authentic 80's classics and is another reason this show made my top 8 list. I wish the show had been given the chance to live up to its full potential but sadly it was another "One Season Wonder".

• Undeclared- Another Brilliant Judd Apatow creation that got the boot before it could fully blossom. This show aired on the FOX network from 2001-2002. It was sort of a follow up from "Freaks and Geeks". It even featured many of the same actors (this is something Apatow is known for). The show centered around a group of friends during their first year of college. Each half hour segment was delightful, funny and honest. Having survived my Freshman year I appreciate the college insight this show offered something I didn't grasp when I first watched it in High school. They now play re runs of this and "Freaks and geeks" on the Independent Film Channel (IFC)

• The O.C.- This show is not a "One Season Wonder" in fact, it lasted four glorious seasons on Fox before being taken off the air. During the first season The O.C had 9.7 million viewers. The series main focus was Ryan (a kid from the wrong side of the tracks who ends up living in the prestigious Orange County) and his sidekick in the show Seth (a loner in the O.C who becomes more than just best friends with Ryan but, brothers). It follows the characters and their family's through high school and one year of college before the network called it quits. Although I love all seasons I think that seasons 1 and 2 were the best followed by 4 and then season 3. My favorite aspect of the show is the relationship between Ryan and Seth- similar to that of Abed and Troy from "Community" or Phil and Lem from "Better Off Ted". The show was successful at making sure the characters were not static. The characters grew and changed from episode to episode just like in real life. For those who think this show just magnifies bad stereotypes about the rich and glorifies their lifestyle your wrong. In fact, it shows the sarcastic side of these stereotypes and manages to break through these boundaries. I own  every season of this show and enjoy starting at the beginning and reliving the experience over and over.

• Veronica Mars- This show centered around the sarcastic and defensive Veronica Mars and her father Keith Mars. Keith is the former sheriff and current owner of a privet investigator business where Veronica helps out. Each season has a season long case that Veronica is working towards slowly solving and each episode contains a mini case's. It follows the ups and downs of high school, college, friends, family and boys. I loved how strong and defensive the main character was portrayed as. It is one of the few shows on television to ever feature a fierce and strong woman fighting in a male dominated work world. Rumor has it there may even be a Veronica Mars movie in the future! If you have Netflix all season are available for instant viewing. 

• Roswell-A science fiction teen drama that first aired in 1999 on the WB where it ran for two seasons and then got moved to UPN for it's final season. The premise of this show is three aliens who look like and pretend to be normal teenagers at a high school in Roswell, New Mexico. They seem to be fooling everyone until Max one of the aliens uses 'magic powers' to save the life of human Liz Parker. Soon a romance blossoms as the government begins to investigate these three aliens they are forced to figure out where they really came from and how they can get back.  This show had decent reviews but once again had horrible ratings. This show is also no Netflix!

More 'One season wonders' later...

2 holiday songs I just LOVE!

Et je maintiendrai toujours une photo de vous dans ma pochette et vous serez avec moi partout où je vais. Let's ont une aventure!

Christmas season

It's Christmas season and that makes me wish you were here. I want to tell you how I have changed. I want to tell you I am a Christian now just like you. I want to hug you. I want to eat around the dinner table with you. I want to pass jokes with you. I want to watch the train go around your  tree like it did every other year. I want you to tell Grandma everything will be ok. I want you to accuse us all of cheating at cards. I know that right now you are in Heaven partying it up! and I know it's selfish but I wish you were here.

Last night, was amazing! I don't even know what to say but this years Progressive Christmas dinner was way better than I remembered last years being. Finals are next week. Then I get to go back home on Thursday!!! But I still don't get to see Phil (my oldest brother) until like December 20 something. Which makes me sad. It will be six months since I have seen him and I seriously missed him at Thanksgiving! I am just ready to go home!!!! And soon enough I'll be ready to come back! :)

THIS IS ALL I HAVE TIME TO WRITE!

"If dreams were thunder
Lighting was desire
This old house would have burned down
A long time ago."
-Bonnie Raitt

A confused sort of smile.
I love my roommate.
Pocrastination.
Fuck it.
Student leader.
Nightmares.
Day time dreams.
Breakfast.
New shoes.
GPS.
Christmas time.
Selfish wants.
Coffee time.
Random lines.
My life in signs.

We all fall down

Today has been a really shitty day. These two songs are helping me survive.

Just GO.

I just got an amazing offer from Ari my best friend back home- a summer in Europe or a cross country road trip! It sounds amazing but I already had plans to apply for an invisible children internship. This internship has been a dream of mine for years as has traveling but I said that we should go on a road trip that would take me to CA for my internship. This would be a compromise. More than anything though I am conflicted between following my dreams , doing what I know I want and doing what the world expects and what my parents want. Today I made this decision based off an awesome movie, "you do what you love and fuck the rest"- Little Ms. Sunshine. I have made it a commitment to ALWAYS follow what I love over the social norm's that society places for us. Summer 2011 JUST GO.

*Stay hungry, Stay foolish.